He said, She said

First half of 2010

2010-06-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

At work, at the lunchtable:
Sam- Sometimes I can't hear you because of your accent
This was said to Vivian, she has a tiny spanish accent

At a Christmas party where the alcohol flowed like water-
Uncle Frank- Where are my glasses?
A 9 year old replies- you probably dropped them in your drink.

Sam-Ok, you two have to get married. You will make the most beautiful Christmas cards together!!! to myself and Derek

Me, on the smell of my farts- I just want to bottle it up and sell it to dogs as perfume. You know, cause it smells like dog farts.
Derek had problems with many parts of that statement.

Derek- Thank you, it was fun playing with you.
Five year old cousin- What-ever!

September

2009-09-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

Weirdo hippie lady at our staff meeting
- "Have you ever looked inside your body and smiled at your organs?"

August

2009-09-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

This one is actually from July

Abbie to Ryan, her man- "You're going in the quote book!! That's kind of like an award!"
How right she is....

Bartender says to me: "Want another drink, sweetheart?"
I nod, and the man sitting next to me does not see that, so he says, "No thanks, I'm good."

Rachel, on cell phones: "It's so annoying when you're with somebody, and they won't quit trying to keep the connection alive."

Ryan- "My uncle, he's a cop, but he's an embroiderer on the side."
Me- "Well that's an oxymoron."

July

2009-07-07T18:40:00.000-07:00

A four year old boy is walking out of the er with his family. His baby brother was the patient.
As they are leaving, he says, very seriously: "I'm glad we're ok."
His mom agreed, and tried not to laugh.

June

2009-07-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

At Shenanigans, a local watering hole.

Sam: "On a scale of one to ten, how drunk are you?"
Ron, the local drunk: "I don't understand."

Sam, returning from the bathroom: "I did it! And it came out really fast!"
She was talking about a booger.

February innuendo

2009-02-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

"I just want to play with one... In the water"
- Sam, at lunch, talking about swimming with dolphins

IT guy- "Want me to play with it?"
Me- "Please!"
- on working on computers

After having a pair of tweezers dropped into my lap at work
Doc- "Oh, my gosh, I almost stabbed you!"
Me- "Yeah, in my" (i point to my crotch)
Doc- "That's what she said!"

Early February

2009-02-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

So, I have not been getting many good quotes lately. It may be because I am just not going out as much as I used to.....

Here are some quotes from the hospital:

Between myself and a 4-year old boy.

Boy- I'm gonna be a football player!*
Me- Cool, can I be one too?
Boy- No!*
Me- No? Why not?
Boy- Because you are too old!*

*side note- sometimes, young kids yell instead of talk

December!

2008-12-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

This was asked of me today at lunch.

"Are you on drugs? Does anyone else think this?"
- Katie, new girl at work.

Really? I can't help it if I am happy and energetic!!!

A few weeks ago:

Stef- "Wooooo!!!! Who is ready to get jiggy with it? Woooooo!"
A strange lady nearby- "Now I am sure she is Amish!"

And the quote of the month goes to....

2008-11-20T14:01:00.001-08:00

"I can't wait to get this thing started so we can play around with it!"
- Shannon, on her excitement of the new TV station at the hospital.
"Well, as far as I'm concerned, you can play with it now!"
- Bob, the TV man.

I was laughing so hard I almost was not able to write this down!!!!

Mid November

2008-11-17T19:18:00.000-08:00

"I 'mint' to do that."
- Joey, after dropping his after-dinner mint on the floor

"I was born on February 30"
"What sign is that?"
"Well genius, there is no February 30!"
- Conversation heard at Shenanigan's

early november quotes

2008-11-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

"A journey of 1000 steps begins with the first one."
- A doctor on the elevator at work, possibly originating from Buddha.

"Yeah, I'm sometimes hardcore, wanna see my scars?"
- John O' Connell, Shenanigans.

"My husband comes home in a few days and we're going to make an election baby!"
- Secretary from work responding to me asking if she was wearing new eyeshadow.

Today

2008-10-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

"Be patient- people will show you who they really are in due time."
-Unknown

Here are some quotes that were in my purse

2008-10-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

"I am so detailed, I once made a friend become a vegetarian."
-A 12 year old.

"My boobs are sitting on my uterus."
-My 7 month pregnant friend.

Quote blog is here!!!

2008-10-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

So here is my blog of quotes. I will add them as they occur instead of letting them pile up as I have been doing. So without further ado........

"Everything I've ever thought is true."
-Abbie, and the first time I realized I need to start writing down the things that people say.

"Melissa, you're tall, and I'm agile."
-Trying to be convinced to hoist someone up to a second floor window.

"My child life skills come from my heart and not from toys."
-Me comparing myself with another co-worker.

"Do I look like I know? Do my eyes look open?"
-I don't know what was going on there.

"I like to touch myself when I hear this song."
-Shannon, on hearing a band cover "Wonderland" by John Mayer.

"JBJ, why must you leave me in my time of need?"
-Random guy, obviously upset that "Living on a prayer" finished playing on the jukebox.

"Life's too short to wear boring socks."
-Totally true. I was told this in Jackson, MS.

"I'm not going to drink. Well, I might drink a little."
-Jesse, the night before his wedding.

"Well, if that wasn't an ad for Winn-Dixie bottled water, I don't know what is!"
-Me to Abbie. Sometimes I wish I had my life on tape, cause that was hilarious.

"If cuddling with someone who is bony is fun, then teddy bears wouldn't be the way they are."
-You said it, dude.

"I partly agree with that, but I mostly agree with that, but I partly agree with that."
"It's a beautiful contradiction."
-I don't know what I was agreeing to, but what a fun dinner party that was!

"What? Have you not read my book on feet?"
-Andrew.

"Life is pointless if you don't have someone to share it with."
-An old friend in a time of despair.

"You can't keep the big lady down!"
-Thank you Michael.

"Whatever you do, make it fun!"
-Unknown.

"There are some parts of your life that you wish weren't there and some parts you wish were always there."
-XRAY guy from hospital.

"You have a high-pitched voice."
-Much older man explains why I look so young.